I am a committed researcher and teacher, and I am a father, so what do you mean? As you can see in this simpsonized portrait of me (left), I am the unhappy owner of two dogs and a cat (my family drew me into this zoo).
To the right, you can see how I looked, when I was casted for James
Cameron's Avatar. I was close, but I didn't get the part eventually.
A grad student, a post-doc, and a professor are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one." "Me first! Me first!" says the grad student. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman who sunbathes topless." Poof! He's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the post-doc. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the professor. The professor says, "I want those guys back in the lab after lunch."... and another one for the absolute dynamical systems nerds:
An aircraft was going from Warsaw to Paris, as some heavy sidewinds arose. After the pilot had been fighting the elements for some time, the aircraft was still inclining more and more to one side, so he decided to make the following announcement: "Ladies and Gentlemen, the present weather conditions has caused the aircraft to become unstable. In order to reestablish stability, could I please ask all the Poles to move to the left half of the plane?"If you learned calculus before the age of pocket calculators, you might appreciate this one:
Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" asks Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is happy. Noah says, "So tell me how the trees helped." "Certainly," reply the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."